If you Google my name, you'll find I've been busy writing thousands... and I mean thousands... of articles on everything under the sun from "How to Teach Your Toddler to Brush his Teeth" to "The Advantages of Taekwondo" to "Preventing Foot Pain in Ice Skating." It seems like you name something and I've written an article on it; even things like "How to Buy Baby Calves Online" (which I do kind of feel guilty about, I mean, I didn't stop to think of what people would do with the poor baby calves, once they followed the steps to buy 'em. Before you judge me, stop and think -- maybe they're buying calves for humanitarian reasons... like to give as gifts to rich kids who need a petting zoo. Maybe the lives of those baby calves will be even happier, more joyful and more fulfilling than mine, once they're purchased. You never know).
My personal favorite of these was written a few years ago, when I first started this non-fiction pay for play type of prose... "How to Kill Mosquitoes in a Car." I kid you not. Someone assigned me this to write based on the fact that supposedly numerous people were Googling this burning query. Every now and then, I wonder what sort of person Googles the steps to mosquito persecution when sequestered in an automobile. I have, on occasion had to follow my own steps to get rid of a bug, usually a bee and the stop the car and run out screaming until it flies away method seems to work best for me. Still I keep picturing that lone wolf hunting down the perfect method to mosquito-in-car extinction. Truth be told, I couldn't keep a straight face while writing those particular words of wisdom, though the task was to write it without humor. That's the only problem with these little ditties, for the most part, the clients I write for specifically do not want my questionably "sophisticated" brand of Bluesy humor. Never mind that it's taken me years of honing this writing style to a finely tuned barbed machine of wit and whimsy. Forget all of those classes at UC Berkeley I had to take in comedy to become "a professional" (okay, so it was one class in comedy, and it turned out to be a snoozefest, as I recall. But hey, it was an easy "A").
So there you have it. I haven't been blogging because I've been writing. Some of that writing has been on my books, to which at this point, I am working on two fiction YA books (three if you count the one I start and stop with a dear buddy, when the stars align and we manage to carve time out between coming up with excuses why not to write the darn thing... that's what happens when you get two professional procrastinators in a room. Still, you never know, we could surprise ourselves and finish it one day). Aside from my two (or three) fabulous young adult fiction books, I've also managed to write and complete a really witty, fun picture book (but don't get too excited, the illustrations aren't done yet... and I am illustrating this one by myself). I'm also writing a biography of a really cool martial arts master.
And in between all this writing, writing, writing... and planning... and playing with my kids... and trying to make sure they grow up to be smart, responsible, funny people that add to society in some outstanding way (nurture, nurture, nurture)... in between all the dog walks, plant waters, and hours spent battling cellulite on an elliptical road to nowhere soul sucking machine; among the hours spent staring into the vast ocean and picking sand out of uncomfortable places; between all the great books read (see my Goodreads list if you don't believe me); between all the shlepping and shopping and hours spent playing with Spotify;
There's the Summer Moviewatching (so far, Pacific Rim and Man of Steel have both been loud and fun). And, of course, ample TV watching... so many shows, so little time:
Now for what you really want: This Summer's TV Watch
So far, I've been enjoying: Orange is the New Black (well worth a months subscription of Netflix), "The Killing," "True Blood" (still but honestly, it's getting a little boring lately), "The Newsroom" (I'm an Aaron Sorkin junkie, am I alone with this addiction? I wonder), Dexter (still fabulous in it's final stand, Charlotte Rampling rocks, though I do not trust her for a nanosecond... in fact, she and Jonathan Lithgow's character seem to have something in common), Ray Donovan, Continuum (my time machine sci fi fix), Stephen King's Under the Dome (my SK fix), Falling Skies, The Bridge, Royal Pains, Suits, Necessary Roughness (Nico, make a move already; who knew Jonathan Stamos could be cool to watch again), Covert Affairs (I'm thrilled that Annie and Auggie are together but I kinda miss the cheesy That Girl animation and upbeat music from the old intro), Mistresses (Don't judge me, it's summer), Switched at Birth (Come on... Angelo.. need I say more?), The Fall, Longmire (a new addition, I'm catching up on last season with Netflix, along with missed episodes of The Walking Dead and Supernatural... yes, I'm behind, okay? There's just not enough procrastinating hours in a day/week to keep on top of these things). I'm probably missing stuff. I'm looking forward to Breaking Bad again, although since I know it's the last season... I'm sad already that it's only for a short while before it's gone for good. Sniff. I miss Mad Men already, and it's only been a few weeks. Here's a recap from that last great episode of the season:
Until next time... Go, Make other plans, I dare you. The Universe waits for no one.
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